What's the No.1 Father's Day Gift Idea?

Our Top 10 Countdown of the Best Father’s Day Gifts

Ah, Father's Day. That special time when we collectively panic-buy novelty barbecue tongs for men who already own seventeen pairs.

But not this year, friend. Not on our watch.

Because beneath that practical "I don't need anything" exterior lurks someone who's secretly desperate for something sublimely ridiculous. Something that flips the entire script on what a Father's Day gift should be.

So put down those "World's Best Dad" socks (he's got twelve pairs already) and join us for a countdown of ten father's day gift ideas so gloriously absurd they'll make him ugly-snort-laugh till his face hurts. Because if there's one thing we take seriously round here, it's laughter.

10. A Trip To Space On Jeff Bezos' Penis-Shaped Rocket (With Katy Perry)

For the dad who has everything except the experience of hurtling through the stratosphere in a giant phallus with a pop star. 

Yes, Blue Origin's rocket does look exactly like a massive space dong, and yes, we're suggesting you somehow convince Katy Perry to come along for the ride. Is it practical? No. Affordable? Absolutely not. The perfect conversation starter at every family gathering for the next three decades? You bet your cosmic ass it is.

"Remember when the kids sent me to space with Katy Perry in a giant penis?" Dad will wheeze, tears streaming down his face, as your mum sighs for the 400th time.

9. A Fully Functioning Corby Trouser Press

Nothing says "I love you, Dad" like extinct hotel room technology. 

Hunt down this icon of 1980s business travel on eBay and watch his face light up with nostalgic confusion. Will he use it? Probably not. Will he proudly demonstrate it to every visitor who enters your home for the next decade? Absolutely. Bonus points if you include a laminated instruction card that he'll definitely read aloud to uninterested guests while they desperately search for conversation escape routes.

8. Top Toilets Game (as seen on This Morning)

Flush away the competition with our Top Toilets trump card game. Because what's more dad than having strong opinions about bathroom facilities? This hilariously informative card game ranks the world's most iconic loos by categories like 'Wow Factor' and 'Usability.'

Perfect for the father who pretends he doesn't spend 45 minutes in there scrolling through Twitter. It's bathroom reading material that'll have the whole family battling over bog stats – finally giving him legitimate reason to disappear to the loo for hours. "I'M DOING RESEARCH!"

7. An NFT Of Your Childhood Artwork

Remember that wonky portrait you drew of him when you were six, where he had seventeen fingers and what appeared to be antlers growing out of his ears? Take a photo, convert it into an NFT, and present him with a certificate of ownership to something that simultaneously means nothing and everything. 

Make sure to explain, in excruciating detail, how blockchain works while he nods politely, wondering if it's too early to break out the whisky he's been saving.

6. Office Udder

For the dad who needs stress relief at work but is far too dignified for a regular stress ball, may we present the Office Udder. This tweakable rubber cow udder sits proudly on his desk, inviting squeezes, pulls and the occasional confused glance from colleagues. It's the perfect conversation starter for awkward Zoom calls. "Is that... a cow's udder on your desk, Steve?" "Yes, my children think I'm a massive tit." 

As desk toys go, it's the cream of the crop and guaranteed to make the IT department finally notice him for all the wrong reasons.

5. A Cameo From That Actor He Pretends Not To Care About Anymore

You know the one. That actor who was in that show he obsessed over fifteen years ago but now claims "really went downhill after season three." Pay them to record a personalized message where they exclusively reference the plot holes and character inconsistencies your dad has been ranting about since 2009. 

Watch as he oscillates wildly between starstruck excitement and the overwhelming urge to explain to a celebrity why they're wrong about their own character's motivation in season four, episode nine.

4. Top Spoons Card Game (as seen on This Morning)

For the dad who's dragged you to Wetherspoons more times than you care to remember, our Top Spoons trump card game is the nostalgic pub crawl he can enjoy without leaving his armchair. 

Featuring 55 iconic Wetherspoons pubs ranked by categories like 'Ambience' and 'Customer Approval' (yes, really), it's the perfect way to settle those heated debates about which Spoons reigns supreme. Watch as he passionately defends The Banker’s Draft against The Moon Under Water based solely on whose chips arrive fastest. 

It's the gift that simultaneously celebrates and mocks his most sacred cultural institution.

3. A Custom Oil Painting of Him as a Historical General

Nothing says "you're important" quite like a massive oil painting of your father dressed as Napoleon, pointing dramatically towards an unseen horizon while astride a majestic steed.

Commission a digital artist (or better yet, use one of those AI generators for maximum uncanny valley effect) to create this masterpiece, then frame it in the gaudiest gold frame you can find. 

The true gift isn't just the painting – it's the impossible decision of where to hang it. Will he choose the living room (to your mother's horror), his shed (where no one will see it), or pride of place above the downstairs loo (where everyone will see it)?

2. Motorway Service Stations Card Game (as seen on This Morning)

Coming in at number two, it's the game that turns those dreaded motorway pit stops into competitive family fun! Our Motorway Service Stations game is the perfect gift for the dad who spends entire car journeys declaring "We're not stopping at bloody Moto again, their coffee tastes like dishwater." 

With 55 of Britain's finest roadside stops ranked by 'Price,' 'Cleanliness,' and other vital statistics, this game validates his weirdly strong opinions about places designed to be forgotten. Watch his eyes light up as he finally gets to prove that Tebay truly is superior to all other service stations, as he's been insisting since 1997.

1. An Incredibly Specific Spotify Playlist

And the number one Father's Day gift idea? A meticulously curated Spotify playlist titled "Songs Dad Pretended to Hate But Actually Loves," featuring every cheesy pop hit you've ever caught him secretly humming in the garage. 

Include "Call Me Maybe," that one Backstreet Boys song he knows all the words to, and at least three Taylor Swift tracks. Add personalized notes for each song like "Caught you dancing to this while cleaning the car, 2014" and "You said this was 'overproduced garbage' but knew all the lyrics." Present it to him on a vintage-looking cassette case with hand-drawn cover art for maximum emotional damage.

It might not be what he expected, but let's be honest – watching him try to maintain his carefully cultivated music snob persona while "Shake It Off" blasts through the speakers is exactly what everyone needs.

 

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Wrapping It Up

When it comes to Father's Day gift ideas, sometimes the best approach is to embrace the sublime ridiculousness of it all. Sure, you could get him another wallet he doesn't need or a tie he'll never wear. But where's the fun in that?

The truth is, what every dad really wants (but would NEVER admit) is something that acknowledges his particular brand of weird – whether that's his encyclopedic knowledge of motorway services or his secret passion for cow-based desk accessories.

And if all else fails? Get him socks. But make them socks with Jeff Bezos' rocket printed on them. Because if there's one thing Bubblegum Stuff believes in, it's that life's too short for boring gifts.

(Especially when it comes to dads.)